Self Love (Jumping through my fears!)

This morning while sitting on my patio meditating, I started thinking about topics for this blog. As some of you know, as much as one would like to just be focusing on no thoughts during meditation often they come streaming in. So I just went with the pictures and ideas that were coming to me. I began to remember the day I sky jumped! Wow that was a very big deal for me. My childhood was that of someone who was not much of an athlete. In fact often picked last on team sports in school. I also had a huge fear of heights. I discovered how much of a fear when I would be leading a women’s retreat in Sedona. Hiking some beautiful red rock formation , I would get to the very top of the rock formation and look down in terror. Embarrassed to be the leader yet shaking in my hiking boots! So when my girlfriend Susan’s husband Eric suggested that she and I parachute one Sunday in Chicago,I was scared to death. Eric, being a black belt in Aikido a (martial art ) and what I considered an athlete warrior, was all about being in your body fearlessly. He had parachuted himself,and felt we, Susan and I should try it too! Over many years Eric took on the role of nudging and sometimes pushing, Susan and I beyond our comfort zones! Well not wanting to look bad ,and being women who were already all about empowerment ,we took on the challenge!

We spent the day at a parachute school in Wisconsin learning how to pull the cord, fall gently, change directions, and hearing about many safety measures. All very technical, mindlessly following the instructions. I felt like I had left my body as soon as I decided to take this challenge on. Finally it was time to get in the plane. It was a small plane with an open door. What had I gotten myself into? The fear began to rise as we took off. As we climbed higher and higher in the air I noticed everything began to look like a monopoly board. Houses, streets, and rivers were very tiny. Was I really going to jump out of this plane? As soon as the plane got to the right height in the air,the instructor said the shortest person will jump first. Oh my God I am five feet two and the shortest person on our plane. I really wanted to say NO I have changed my mind. My brain went numb what to do? I turned to Susan my very best-est girlfriend who loved me like no other. I said Susan is it OK for me to jump? She answered with a resounding YES! Knowing she would not want me to die and yet encouraging me to go for it, this convinced me to take the plunge. We were instructed to swan dive out of the plane. At that time you jumped alone, not with an instructor. So I stood at this open doorway looking out into the clouds and sky. I swan dived out into the air through my greatest fear! Pulled the shoot and floated down over the beautiful fall colored trees blissed out that I had, jumped through my fears! It was a moment I will never forget. It still empowers me today. I feel having jumped out of an airplane, there is no fear I can not move through! For me on that wonderful fall day in Wisconsin I loved myself enough to go way beyond what I thought was possible to conquer, my FEAR!

I suggest you make a list of five of your greatest fears. Circle the one that would give you the most freedom to get beyond. Take the action to clear this block. Loving yourself enough to be free!

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For the last 25 years Cindy has changed thousands of people’s lives through individual sessions, workshops, lectures and retreats. The foundation of her work is the journey to Self-Love.

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